Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Waiting

Well, here I am. two days away from when I should be expecting my period. OK, I know others will think that I am totally insane, but I still hope that this cycle I conceived naturally. I always considered myself a realist, but no, I really think I am an optimist in disguise.

I felt cramps on day seven post ovulation. I know, why do I put myself through this. Well, if you think about it. It is all I have to do. There is absolutely nothing else I can do. So either I get my period or I am pregnant. I handle disappointment well.

I should quit drinking alcohol, shouldn't I? I gave up caffeine over 1.5 years ago. I try to take a vitamin every day. Boy, have I been bad at that. I eat veggies regularly, but for some reason I just can't stop drinking. I know I could lose weight and feel better about my eggies, but then how could I deal with the disappoinment. I know this sounds like I am an alcoholic, but maybe I just realize the whole futility of my situation. I know one good egg and all, but seriously it is beating me down. I just want to have it over with. I don't want to decide on a donor. I don't want to take the meds. I don't want to go through the tranfer. I don't want the two week wait . I just want it to be over.

4 comments:

mekate said...

HERE'S HOPING!
I am all about the optimism, I wish on you a fine positive. I agree- I do not want to have to go through
it
all
again
either.
It can work, it does work, it might work-- I hope it does!
thinking of you,
Kate

mekate said...

hi there shelle, it's me again-- so, the bottom line is, there may be an end of the road, but we're not there yet unless we choose to be. Which is fair and fine and understandable. I get a consult down in boston on tuesday, I'll let you know. But dr s said IVF+PGD, and was willing to go for it.

hope you are ok- I miss you here,
Kate

Sarah said...

hey there, i'm late checking in so i assume i know what that means about the waiting. hope you're doing well.

K said...

just saying hi...give us an update.