Update

It has been awhile. I don't even remember my last post. Needless to say AF arrived pretty much on schedule with a 13.5 day luteal phase. Sadness ensued, though I suspected it and wanted to cancel the beta test before I even knew.

I can't believe I had a major breakdown with the RE. I was mostly angry because I am now being postponed until a late December cycle, because there will be no anesthesiologist for an "elective" surgery on Thanksgiving. I am majorly pissed. I specifically asked about the holidays, when the f***ing doctors had to suspend my cycle to schedule around this national meeting. So basically what the take home message is that if you want to get pregnant in November and December you are on your own. Unless the clinic can schedule you to fit their vacation plans you are screwed. From what I read this is not specific to my clinic. It sounds as if it happens everywhere.

I know I should feel fortunate because I think my clinic really does care, but it isn't very easy right now.

Now, my mom is all upset because I might not be home for Thanksgiving. Its like "Mom you have a choice, me stuffing my face with turkey or you holding a beautiful grandchild 9 months from now." She just doesn't seem very reasonable about these things.

For now it is BBT and cervix position. In two days I start OPK. Oh, I didn't mention. I decided to do clomid. I figured it couldn't hurt. Watch I will have huge cysts and not be able to start the cycle in December. That would serve me right for being so impatient.

Life is unfair

I can't believe it. One of my coworkers is pregnant. For the fourth time. Because she forgot to take BCP. Her "boyfriend" doesn't want to have anything to do with the baby. Now, she is going to be a single mom with FOUR kids. I mean, that just sucks. Here we are desperate to have a child and there she is in the unfortunate situation of having a child.

I am sure that the IUI didn't work. My temperature dropped this morning. AF should be here within two days. I don't think I will even go in for the beta test. It will just be too disappointing. I know that the chances were slim, but we had such a great sperm number 75 million. Thats a lot of little guys running around.

I am frightened what the RE is going to tell me. They can't explain my response to the last fertility drugs. I blame the lupron. I guess when my body is suppressed, it really is suppressed.

I think what I hate most is waiting. I am not a very patient person especially when things are not in my control. Why does it seem that everything takes so long? Well, we'll see what my temperature is tomorrow am and go from there.

The waiting game

Well, just five days left. I have to take a home pregnancy test. There is no way I can wait until Thursday for the HCG result. I had progesterone done on Thursday. It was 46. They told me "you definitely ovulated." I had known that already. My temperature is a full degree higher than it is during the non-luteal phase.

I started BBT when we were first TTC. I think it is the most amazing thing. If I ever get my dream job of being a science education advisor to the government, I would make it mandatory for all girls in high school to chart their cycles for at least three months. It would be a mutidisciplinary project. Data gathering and graphing, physiology (you could discuss all of the hormones and how they function), and it would also be health education, It might even help identify students who might have ovulatory dysfunction.

Oh, I know this is highly unfeasible. It is sexist and would never pass the scrutiny of anti birth control pundits. But I can still dream. At least if I have a girl I will teach her about her body.