Monday, June 29, 2009

Shutting down

I think I am done with the blogging for now. I appreciate everyone's kind words and I hope to be able to keep up with everyone's progress. It seems that everyone is doing very well. Plans are in place. Some seeds have been planted. Others are on their way to establishing a family. I wish everyone well and hope to update everyone once a cycle begins that has any promise. I am not shutting down the site until I get all my stats off it.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Well, here I am. two days away from when I should be expecting my period. OK, I know others will think that I am totally insane, but I still hope that this cycle I conceived naturally. I always considered myself a realist, but no, I really think I am an optimist in disguise.

I felt cramps on day seven post ovulation. I know, why do I put myself through this. Well, if you think about it. It is all I have to do. There is absolutely nothing else I can do. So either I get my period or I am pregnant. I handle disappointment well.

I should quit drinking alcohol, shouldn't I? I gave up caffeine over 1.5 years ago. I try to take a vitamin every day. Boy, have I been bad at that. I eat veggies regularly, but for some reason I just can't stop drinking. I know I could lose weight and feel better about my eggies, but then how could I deal with the disappoinment. I know this sounds like I am an alcoholic, but maybe I just realize the whole futility of my situation. I know one good egg and all, but seriously it is beating me down. I just want to have it over with. I don't want to decide on a donor. I don't want to take the meds. I don't want to go through the tranfer. I don't want the two week wait . I just want it to be over.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Brief update

I thought I would provide a brief update to everyone. Thanks for all of your kind notes along the way. I was very sad to read about all the IF problems that everyone has had in the last few months. This stuff just stinks.

Because of a trip to Germany, we had to go the old fashioned route in May. I love doing the BBT because my cycle is so much like clockwork, except with the time changes. It is really difficult to try to get the right time when you are traveling. We may have missed the window but we gave it the old college try.

We went to Germany to see our new nephew. Ps sister got pregnant immediately after stopping BCP. Her biggest concern was that she could drink during Carnival. Sigh. Even funnier she rode her bike to the hospital to give birth. I love telling everyone that. It seems pretty amazing to me.

As I suspected, P was totally uncomfortable around the baby at first. He held it as if it were made of glass and contorted his body in weird ways to "make the baby more comfortable". The darn little guy really liked me, though. Every time I held him he fell asleep. Maybe it was because I cleverly let everyone man handle him for an hour or two, then took him when it was nap time again. I don't know.

Any way, we are debating about going in again for a baseline (iff this cycle is a bust). The hold back is that we would like to travel around the fourth of July and IVF could interfere with that. We will just have to see. I would just like to get it over with. I am still not excited about donor eggs, but I am hoping that would provide some closure. Until then, I think I will enjoy the life with only having a dog to worry about. After seeing Ps sister, it makes me appreciate my current life without child a little more.